Ode to Mother

My mother sold me for a man between her legs
their union, sealed my fate
traded, bartered, and sold to the lowest bidder

the hawkeye of a child--don't ever question her innate intuition
she goes by feeling, what makes her stomach ache, her skin crawl
but, does not have the words or power to state her claim
she cannot be bought by seedy charm, objects of manipulative affection, or empty words

"you are so selfish. you just don't want me to be happy"
words that sting the ears and pierce the heart of a child

flooded and bound by emotions, she is forced to maintain the family secret
so many secrets, the vitriolic facade
internalized, as i walk this path, learning to separate selves
until the disconnect moves mountains for the perilous journey
my mother sold me for a man between her legs

she scratches her eyes out to hide their lies
filthy lies, guilt covers her body
invades her thoughts
burdened with shame

she fakes happiness, till it empties her inside out
festering, taking on new shapes in the form of self-destruction
implosion of self in order to ease the pain

imperious adults
remissness
making the angels weep, for their gifts to the world is the magnificence of children
my mother sold me for a man between her legs