Motivated Representation

Audre Lorde argues that “the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house” in response to her experience with white liberal feminists, who subscribe to the ideology that feminism is a universal sisterhood, where all women are viewed as monolithic in nature, and who suffer the sole oppression of gender. The consequence of this short sightedness produced the credo that all women were working towards social equality with men. As bell hooks points out this faction of the women's movement was ignorant to the dismal fact that all men are not equal in “white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchal class structure,” so women in the lower classes, lesbian, and non-white did not see their predicaments changing by gaining social equality with men. They recognized that feminism defined as social equality with men would primarily affect the social status of white middle class women1. Therefore, white liberal feminists lacked the ability to see beyond their own white middle class predicament because their perspectives were coming from upward mobility creating shortcomings in the ability to truly understand the vantage point of women, where race, class, sexuality, and age intersect with gender. Lorde's metaphor holds white privileged women to task by inquiring the validity of their analysis (master's tools) of a structural system that already produces inequalities and skewed consciousness, and their ability to adequately and effectively examine and dismantle their own prejudices (master's house). This type of motivated representation “narrows the perimeters of change that are possible and allowable” for all people2.

In contrast to liberal feminism, radical feminists see feminism as the struggle to end sexist oppression. According to Lorde, “racism, sexism, and homophobia are inseparable”3. Therefore, it is crucial to analyze, deconstruct, and reinvent a new paradigm that is inclusive, so we do not re-inscribe the hierarchy of oppression enforced by patriarchal white supremacy. One fundamental tool that radical feminists propose for resisting injustice and inequality is analyzing and understanding how knowledge is produced, who has access to it, and the structures which determines how it gets disseminated or not4. In addressing these questions, feminists are able to develop theory: an explanation of interrelated concepts that have been consistently observed over time. Chris Weedon5, explains how the relationship between personal experience, theory, and the access and content of knowledge within the framework of the patriarchal structure is of great importance to feminism because the development of theory is a starting point for the development of feminist discourse and praxis, which are powerful tools in dismantling sexist oppression.

Since radical feminists see themselves as revolutionaries rather than white liberal reformers, they don't want to preserve the sex/gender system that they identify as one cause of women's oppression6. It is through patriarchal ideology and its production of knowledge that women are forced into the binary female/ feminine role. Through extensive analysis, radical feminist theory and discourse explains how patriarchal ideology “exaggerates” the biological differences between men and women7. If a person is born female, then she will have expressed characteristics that are uniquely feminine: obedient, nurturer, passive, and emotional. Radical feminists rejected the assumption that there should be a connection between one's sex and one's gender---gender is separable from sex. Women are no more destined to be “passive” as men are “active.” This enforced binary uses rigid gender roles to keep women oppressed8. Out of this critique came androgyny, the alternative gender that “desired to transcend” tradition by allowing women and men to determine for themselves how masculine and feminine they wanted to be or not. Unlike the traditional roles of patriarchal masculinity and femininity, in this new paradigm there was flexibility because there was no fixed way to be androgynous9.
As another tool of radical feminism, Mary Daly wrote in her book, Gyn/Ecology a dictionary of new language by reclaiming words that were viewed as negative and a way to keep women subjugated. In radical feminist discourse, women were encouraged to reclaim words like hag, witch, and crone by giving them positive meaning10. Other oppressed peoples have used the same tool. By reclaiming words like queer, chicana/o, cunt, and perhaps nigger, people have been able to spin new meanings for themselves, which always serves as a tool for empowerment.

Feminism as a movement is crucial to ending sexist oppression. In order to avoid re-inscribing hierarchy, it is important for us to challenge and change the structure of patriarchal white supremacy and its by product: white privilege. In order to truly understand the perspective of other people, we need to look outside our own predicament, if we are to adequately and effectively examine and dismantle our own prejudices. Equality and justice are a constitutional right for all people, and should not be an American ideal to which we aspire.

Fierce Women

A renegade is a woman who powerfully and intentionally takes a stance and is true to herself in the face of what ever comes her way. She is secure in her creativity, her humanity, her sexuality, her spirituality, her strengths, and beliefs. And because of that solid foundation in herself, she is able to cause effective change in the world. That's why she is so fierce---unknown

Ode to Mother

My mother sold me for a man between her legs
their union, sealed my fate
traded, bartered, and sold to the lowest bidder

the hawkeye of a child--don't ever question her innate intuition
she goes by feeling, what makes her stomach ache, her skin crawl
but, does not have the words or power to state her claim
she cannot be bought by seedy charm, objects of manipulative affection, or empty words

"you are so selfish. you just don't want me to be happy"
words that sting the ears and pierce the heart of a child

flooded and bound by emotions, she is forced to maintain the family secret
so many secrets, the vitriolic facade
internalized, as i walk this path, learning to separate selves
until the disconnect moves mountains for the perilous journey
my mother sold me for a man between her legs

she scratches her eyes out to hide their lies
filthy lies, guilt covers her body
invades her thoughts
burdened with shame

she fakes happiness, till it empties her inside out
festering, taking on new shapes in the form of self-destruction
implosion of self in order to ease the pain

imperious adults
remissness
making the angels weep, for their gifts to the world is the magnificence of children
my mother sold me for a man between her legs

atonement

do you know the surface of my mind.
rolling in and out....losing time

breath in, breath out

let the giants rest in my head
knowing i did my best.
where ideals birth concepts...
blood will spill
sacrifice or ritual celebration?

home of daffodils and tulips,
wisper from my lips

the gauntlet of truthgintent
ggggggggggggggg hunger

my wicked ways deceive me.
crying a river in hopes of bathing in forgiveness,
seeking reparation
spiritual release

Chrysalis

I feel submerged. Sounds are muffled like cotton in my ears and my sight is blurry, obstructed.
There is a chasm that splits my heart from my thoughts.
Fighting not to compartmentalize...my feelings.
Talking head, lost in translation.
The paradox: feeling release, yet aware of the grip that makes me feel trapped, confined
love, feeling pain and happiness at the same time.
Knowing when i'm in over my head, but the allure is so strong that i follow your ways.
roll with it baby, challenges bring in the new dawn
dew rests on the tips of my eyelashes like a dragonfly sits on a cattail.

Philosophy of Love

Richocheted memories
fragmented state of mind, slowly coming into focus
stillness a moment in time
intimacy shared, pulled back, pulled up, shut down
acting out our fears, yet fearing to act on, act with

fully exposed

parts of self solid, parts of self challenged, parts of self malleable
when we call out into space, the universe co-conspires for our happiness
we meet those who draw forth our most inner truth, our best selves, and fortunately the parts of us we'd like to bury away for safe keeping....
a place that hides the world's darkest secrets.

giving freely, not so free
easy to give, then it becomes a struggle with self
stretching the soul
insecurities run rampant. sequence after sequence telling a story of someone we once knew
these fears challenge our endurance, but at some point, it becomes a conscious choice to work through them: embrace them--get personal with them--nurture them, so we can set them free.

living in one's mind, compartmentalized is a slow death...a mind fuck that keeps us out of integrity and far from our authentic selves.
peeling back those layers, exposing our deepest fears, heartaches, desires.
together, sharing we can heal
in-to-me-you-see
by the process of allowing ourselves to unfold, tasting our essence, again opens us further into the realm of knowing our basic selves, no projection, no fronting, no avoidance, no games.

striving for a whole integrated self is not so easy---i know
all of life's beauties, challenges and struggles are put in front of us to test our faith in ourselves, others, and the universe.
If we embrace the process, over and over again, we will be rewarded with the beautiful gift of our life's work.
yet, when we don't know that we don't know, "True power is wisdom found in remembering your total journey"

Deconstructing the Legacy of Internalized Oppression

"Internalized oppression is not the cause of our mistreatment, it is the result of our mistreatment. It would not exist without the real external oppression that forms the social climate in which we exist. Once oppression has been internalized, little force is needed to keep us submissive. We harbor inside ourselves, the pain and the memories, the fears and the confusions, the self-images, and the low expectations turning them into weapons with which to reinjure ourselves everyday of our lives"----unknown

"The most powerful tool of the oppressor, is the mind of the oppressed"----steven biko

"Davina, you need to be strong and independent, no one is going to take care of you." Why is it that when a man is direct and out spoken he is assertive, but when a woman is, she is a bitch, aggressive, or it's that time of the month!.... Women do most, if not all of the domestic responsibilities, work full time and raise the kids. You doubt me, well i have experienced it and it has a name, it's called the double-shift!....Working mother is redundant.... If a man has all of those responsibilities he complains that its too much pressure....I have used sex to be in control, I had the power, then I learned it's was the wrong kind of power.... Please your man, your nothing without a man, stand by your man..... "Stay with the fire fighter because he can take care of you." Grandma, you forgot to ask me if he makes me happy..... I definitely pass for white, no one will ever know that Im Mexican. I dont even speak Spanish, so that must mean i'm white.... Grandma, I read this incredible book about a Mexican family, our people. Oh mija, your always trying so hard to be Mexican. As I wipe back my tears, I think to myself, well then what am I?.... My grandma calls me guera, I thought that was a term of endearment, but in Echo Park this girl called me guera, and coming from her, it didnt sound so nice..... In my own neighborhood people say, You dont look white what are you?.....Why do those dirty Mexicans whistle at us, fucking wetbacks....

"Mom, why is that old man eating out of the garbage can? He's a homeless person. What's a homeless person? Someone who eats out of garbage cans...My great-grandmother worked in the laundry for over twenty years in El Paso. My history book says that Mexicans were usually assigned the worst jobs and that there was a dual wage system. Mexicans did unskilled labor while whites were given skilled jobs and supervisory positions. Up until WWII, the military was segregated towards blacks. They can fight for their country, but not next to Whites in combat. Why did it take till college for me to hear this side of american history. Now i'm pissed off and angry....If people were created equal there would be no need for civil rights....White Christian men get higher paying jobs compared to women and people of color....Women make something like .74 cents on the dollar compared to a man.....Vote no on Prop 187......My family will not be your status quo!.....A beautiful God once said, Si se puede!....When I see a group of black men hangin at the curbside, I cross the street to feel safe or when it is a group of Latinos or Asians. Wait a minute before you get the wrong idea, this fear of mine is colorblind, I cross the street when I see a group of men PERIOD because men in groups make me feel unsafe. I fear being groped, verbally abused or possibly raped. These are not fabricated fears, lets just say I have on the job experienced.....

Feminist is not an F word....my goddess gave birth to your god.....I know who I am. Im a woman. Im Mexican, Indigena, French, Irish, Dutch, and Italian, nurturing, compassionate, honest, and vulnerable, Im a mother, daughter, significant other, friend, .....Why does it say on my dads birth certificate that he is white? Clearly he is a person of color and it is clear that he will not have the same advantages as a white kid by the name of Jason Smith.....The U.S is guilty of Japanese internment and Mexican repatriation even though these people were American citizens for many generations and proved their U.S loyalty time and time again.....We are doing it now in 2003 only it is Middle Eastern looking people. Whose next? I fucking hate Americas hypocrisy......Has anyone stop to think what the fuck America has done to piss off other countries?.....Dr. Martin Luther King, you give me an once of hope even when I feel overwhelmingly helpless....

Mixed blood....The ideology of whiteness asserts that those with light skin are more deserving.....Yes, I have been called a lesbian, tomboy, or dyke. And yes, I have been encouraged to put my own needs aside in favor of a man.....Speak to all systems of oppression.....If we dont educate ourselves about all peoples history, we cant change the future.....Heterosexual: having positive media images of people with whom you can identify. Social acceptance by neighbors, colleagues, and good friends. Not having to hide and lie.....40% of women who are killed in the U.S., are by husbands or boyfriends....

Truth is a lot harder to accept than lies. Talking about it helps it lose some of its power. Youre developing a new consciousness.....No Me Llames Hispanic......Race is a biological fiction, we are all one race: 98.4 chimpanzee and the rest human.....Whites are taught not to recognize white privilege; men deny that they are over privileged and people of color suffer internalized racism.....Racism creates a mania for hierarchy.....Womens allegiance to sexism and patriarchy colludes with male dominance....Theres the reality of freedom and the illusion of freedom. It is a lot easier to be ignorant that to seek the truth..... In the world, we have not dealt with patriarchy...

Motivated representation.....Worship of capitalism is the biggest religion....Power concedes nothing without struggle....The 1960s was the first time that Black Americans loved themselves. Their generation thought they would brake the race barrier, but it turned into class barriers.....I minimize your feelings, so I dont have to deal with them....What if the world is not what you thought.....If you dont do your work youre useless.....Women are acceptable if they are young, beautiful, smell good, skinny, and able-bodied....Transform revolution from within, dismantle history by learning your own.....First thought, best thought......

Contempt in society for all things feminine causes women to devalue each other and creates a festering battleground for misogyny......Racism has flown and I have let it fly..... Masculinity is equated with brutality and aggressiveness.....Heterosexism promotes and supports fear and instills hate in people who see others different than themselves..... The oppressions of race, class, and gender come directly from White Supremacy, Capitalism, and Patriarchy.....A cultivated person is not someone who knows much information, its someone who invites the division of educated and uneducated people to interact, who loves nature, who lives and speaks the language of everyone..... If we can get beyond the place we are now, something very important may happen in the world

pain is a gift not yet emerged

If you have the courage to really feel the loss and losses, the wound is deep, but heals cleanly. There will always be a scar, but the healing will have taken place, and the self no longer trying not to feel the pain, relaxes.
--anne lamott

Immortal Technique's song: The Poverty of Philosophy

Most of my Latino and black people who are struggling to get food, clothes and shelter in the hood are so concerned with that, that philosophizing about freedom and socialist democracy is usually unfortunately beyond their rationale. They don't realize that America can't exist without separating them from their identity, because if we had some sense of who we really are, there's no way in hell we'd allow this country to push it's genocidal consensus on our homelands. This ignorance exists, but it can be destroyed.

Niggaz talk about change and working within the system to achieve that. The problem with always being a conformist is that when you try to change the system from within, it's not you who changes the system; it's the system that will eventually change you. There is usually nothing wrong with compromise in a situation, but compromising yourself in a situation is another story completely, and I have seen this happen long enough in the few years that I've been alive to know that it's a serious problem. Latino America is a huge colony of countries whose presidents are cowards in the face of economic imperialism. You see, third world countries are rich places, abundant in resources, and many of these countries have the capacity to feed their starving people and the children we always see digging for food in trash on commercials. But plutocracies, in other words a government run by the rich such as this one and traditionally oppressive European states, force the third world into buying overpriced, unnecessary goods while exporting huge portions of their natural resources.

I'm quite sure that people will look upon my attitude and sentiments and look for hypocrisy and hatred in my words. My revolution is born out of love for my people, not hatred for others.

You see, most of Latinos are here because of the great inflation that was caused by American companies in Latin America. Aside from that, many are seeking a life away from the puppet democracies that were funded by the United States; places like El Salvador, Guatemala, Peru, Columbia, Nicaragua, Ecuador and Republica Dominicana, and not just Spanish-speaking countries either, but Haiti and Jamaica as well.

As different as we have been taught to look at each other by colonial society, we are in the same struggle and until we realize that, we'll be fighting for scraps from the table of a system that has kept us subservient instead of being self-determined. And that's why we have no control over when the embargo will stop in Cuba, or when the bombs will stop dropping in Vieques.

But you see, here in America the attitude that is fed to us is that outside of America there live lesser people. "Fuck them, let them fend for themselves." No, _fuck you_, they _are_ you. No matter how much you want to dye your hair blonde and put fake eyes in, or follow an anorexic standard of beauty, or no matter how many diamonds you buy from people who exploit your own brutally to get them, no matter what kind of car you drive or what kind of fancy clothes you put on, _you will never be them_. They're always gonna look at you as nothing but a little monkey. I'd rather be proud of what I am, rather than desperately try to be something I'm really not, just to fit in. And whether we want to accept it or not, that's what this culture or lack of culture is feeding us.

I want a better life for my family and for my children, but it doesn't have to be at the expense of millions of lives in my homeland. We're given the idea that if we didn't have these people to exploit then America wouldn't be rich enough to let us have these little petty material things in our lives and basic standards of living. No, that's wrong. It's the business giants and the government officials who make all the real money. We have whatever they kick down to us. My enemy is not the average white man, it's not the kid down the block or the kids I see on the street; my enemy is the white man I don't see: the people in the white house, the corporate monopoly owners, fake liberal politicians--those are my enemies. The generals of the armies that are mostly conservatives--those are the real mother-fuckers that I need to bring it to, not the poor, broke country-ass soldier that's too stupid to know shit about the way things are set up.

In fact, I have more in common with most working and middle-class white people than I do with most rich black and Latino people. As much as racism bleeds America, we need to understand that classism is the real issue. Many of us are in the same boat and it's sinking, while these bourgeis mother-fuckers ride on a luxury liner, and as long as we keep fighting over kicking people out of the little boat we're all in, we're gonna miss an opportunity to gain a better standard of living as a whole.

In other words, I don't want to escape the plantation--I want to come back, free all my people, hang the mother-fucker that kept me there and burn the house to the god damn ground. I want to take over the encomienda and give it back to the people who work the land.

You cannot change the past but you can make the future, and anyone who tells you different is a fucking lethargic devil. I don't look at a few token Latinos and black people in the public eye as some type of achievement for my people as a whole. Most of those successful individuals are sell-outs and house Negroes.

But, I don't consider brothers a sell-out if they move out of the ghetto. Poverty has nothing to do with our people. It's not in our culture to be poor. That's only been the last 500 years of our history; look at the last 2000 years of our existence and what we brought to the world in terms of science, mathematics, agriculture and forms of government. You know the idea of a confederation of provinces where one federal government controls the states? The Europeans who came to this country stole that idea from the Iroquois lead. The idea of impeaching a ruler comes from an Aztec tradition. That's why Montezuma was stoned to death by his own people 'cause he represented the agenda of white Spaniards once he was captured, not the Aztec people who would become Mexicans.

So in conclusion, I'm not gonna vote for anybody just 'cause they black or Latino--they have to truly represent the community and represent what's good for all of us proletariat.

Porque si no, entonces te mando pa’l carajo carbón
gusano hijo de puta
serramos libre pronto Viva La Revolución Que viva la revolución.

(Untitled)

The impossible American Dream is outlived
We kill ourselves to be something we’re not
Follow the crowd
Follow the crowd like mindless dogs, slaves to their masters
The puppets on stage act
Act out
Act on
Act on their ignorance
The higher power, I know there is one
Secret society, conspiracy of some kind
Like the way, they, the higher power
The one of some kind
Makes women think they have no original thoughts
Floating around caressing the walls of embodied hope
They only want the attention of men because they’ve been brought up
Cradled by the manipulation breathed through the teeth of the paparazzi, media
An influence of our spreading social disease
Your every move watched and recorded
Memories stored in the minds of the higher power,
The one of some kind
The one who starts wars without there needing to be one
The one who takes money from those who need it most
So Fuck your liberty when you say
“I pledge allegiance to the flag”
My scream for justice and peace
Will drown out and over come your battle cry
So sit in your fancy restaurants
Eat your fast food
and smoke your cigarettes
And ask yourself ‘who am I pledging allegiance to?’

---siedah montelongo

What did you do to earn those wings you have slapped on your back?

Mother hold me, they can't remember my name. I have been passin through dreams like a ghost.

Don't cry white girl at least we share the moon.

La luz de la luna es por ti,

Don't feel alone.

But mother hold me, they can't remember my name and I feel lost without your hand.

for nine months we shared your womb, now with so much distance between us I am a butterfly without direction, a river without motivation, a tree without wind blowing through its leaves or simply

a girl without a name...but the words are falling from my mouth....my meaning slightly distorted.

OTRA:

this is my sleeping shadow waiting until we become apart of the same air.

Mommy this has felt like a half-assed journey without you, but I can hold you in my dreams..

OTRA:

I know your body better than I know myself. I am familiar with every freckle and crease. In fact I remember lying on your bed playing connect the dots. But you know what I want, the truth. Stop filling my head with things you think I want to hear.

God I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you, because you run through my body like the after math of an earthquake leaving a trail of memoriesat my feet, while you are focusing on a small figure in the distance. A whole new mystery to discover and call your home. A whole new mystery that is only a mystery until you begin to turn around and focus your stare, with those clear green eyes, in another direction.

UHH now I can call myself finished for the day

paz y amor

tu no tiene la culpa mi amor el mundo esta feo....en esta mundo hay mucho confusion.......arriba la luna.......I do still look for my star, but I feel the moon in its size fills those places that my star can't...

---siedah

Government of Love

As my eyes slowly bleed pains best friend, I can see into the future of condensed liberty
There are settling faces among the clouds and their spirits rise
As the sun reaches towards the peak of the mountain
I can bring you my love
As we evaporate in the mist
I bleed thoughts from my mind the way rainbows bleed color
Arranging implications of a day tripper or even a night crawler
I found the answer but it’s not the key to life
Our hearts are the gateway to emotion and imposed situations
Letting down my hair erases the stain on my soul
Although my habits rot my body as I’m in life’s motion
The indications from the government say I’m living a free life
I’m not sure when the exact moment is that they lost their minds, but the bars of a cage, and walls of a concrete jungle don’t spell freedom for me in any language
The stars shine bright and flicker with each inhale and exhale that gives us life
We trash our creator, while she shows us unconditional love by providing us with spirit along with the seasonal stories of the earth.
The schism of my body and soul create an umbrella effect
Like the imprint of my being present in your expressions
My eyes are currently a river as I share a bed with sorrow for the days I didn’t love you
And you’ll never understand why
If I could explain, I would have made the attempt far before you learned and felt the hostility of my moving lips
I seek my eternal light
As the bulb of mortality goes off in my head
I am human and natural law goes unnoticed, as swiftly as our government's seemingly undying love that will continue its whisper of a being, only heard by those willing to listen.
But still I am told I am living the free life, so live it up. Only this cage is free, with the cost of me that is.

----siedah

repeat offender

She hurls at me the word recapitulation
Heavy in thought as I absorb this word, I realize my truth in that moment
The perverse legacy is when i re-inscribe past dynamics in the present
Lessons learned long ago as a child, not yet fully aware, but the arduous task is to remember once i'm cognizant of the process

repress, suppress, deny creates nice little pre-packaged stories... fantasies that bide me time
fiction, bidding me time for the sake of prodigious love

what am i willing to do, just to feel the beauty of love?
Fillet myself open for that magnificent high?
reticent i am, but here it has found me again, so i find myself compelled....enticed by its magik

Recapitulation can become very personal because it defines a relationship between two people
Is it inevitable that I sacrifice myself like frida for a man?
What did she get out of her relationship with diego?
I want to know!
Were they intellectual equals, seeking solace in each others words?
Was it sex that bound them, seeking each other’s bodies again and again?
Was it friendship filled with tenderness?
Was it comfortable?

Perhaps, by default, it’s the layers of socialization that finds its way into relationships between men and women that sculpted their union…
the power structure, the hierarchy that establishes patterns of symbiotic interactions.

Did he need to be nurtured by a mother’s love, did she need a father?

On some level we participate in these complimentary roles, dis-ease created by this patriarchal system, which deems one/male as superior and the other/female as inferior. Because of false consciousness, we collude with this system because we don’t even know it’s been created.
Women have their roles, men have theirs, and we mitigate relationships based on such, oblivious of the dynamics at work…...generations of worker bees that perpetuates the insidious lies and secrets

We fight the external locus of pressures, but these well defined roles mutate in order to keep themselves alive

They have the strength of the ocean’s tide that pulls us into her womb
We are blinded because we think it will always be different for us, but the sleeper wave lurches silently, waiting to take us when we are most vulnerable
yes, perhaps there is some projection happening here, but the questioning is real
frida and diego at the very least were each other's teachers---life's pains, indulgences, and beauties. But, is a muse only good for as long as creativity flows?
When it has evaporated, do the particles still exist?
Have they changed form or are they forever gone?

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